Let Me Tell You About A Human I Know
May 2, 2011
Last week I found out via Facebook that one of my oldest and closest friends had died. Then last night I found out (again, via Facebook) that Osama bin Laden had been killed. So there go all my friends on Facebook.
Here is the thing that it is important about my friend who passed away (not Osama bin Laden). He was my introduction to porn. Every single type of porn. Magazine porn. Video porn. Internet porn. Imaginary porn. Dirty joke porn. Every single type of porn. Now, I realize that this may seem like a disgusting and awful way to remember someone, as the gilded Urshanabi, ferryman to the lusty heavens, but for a confused adolescent with fire in his groin, there was no better person to know. He had a 20-year-old step-brother who shared everything, a secret compartment in his closet, and a giving heart of gold, and he shared with me the most bizarre, unimaginable, and gorgeous images of coitus humanity has ever imagined , and for this my ten-year-old self thanks him. And so do I.
Lord I Just Can’t Keep From Crying Sometimes by Colin Stetson